Firegirl

I have always disliked the perception that I will react one way or another in any situation. My experience has shown me, anyway, that the one perceiving my reaction is more often than not incorrect. As far back as I can remember, I have been misperceived. And frankly, I'm tired of it.

Firegirl by Tom Abbot shows the perserverance of Jessica, a student burned in a fire and now attending a private school while she heals. She has visible scars and in true teenage fashion, those in her classes can't easily identify with her. In most young adult literature, the story ends on a happier note than most of the story, and this one proves that rule.

But whose wrong here? The girl with the visible scars trying to protect herself? Or those who honestly show their fear and misunderstanding of her?

I've struggled with this idea all day. I feel as if I am being perceived in one manner and in truth with a little conversation, one would find out that the perception is inaccurate. I changed my hair color today--drastic action for me. And those who know me (very small in number), understand that. I don't like change. I do, however, like to rattle the cage that I am in occasionally to remind myself that I am alive. I'm not the same individual I was when I was 18, 25, 32, or even a year ago and I'm OK with that. I'm not sure that I even liked the person I was at 18. I know there were many things that I did that I would not do today. I like that I can walk away when I want to today and not be devastated that what I perceived to be the end of the world--actually isn't. When one thing doesn't happen I know that something else can and could be salvaged from it.

So, back to the story. She persists for acceptance--not blatant acceptance, but acceptance. So what does that mean for the rest of us? We stick to our misperceptions in an attempt to shelter us. To maintain a boundary that too often doesn't need to be created. We simply don't believe that those we choose to surround ourselves with actually mean what they say. We don't take people at their voice and we choose to believe something else. All in a manner to protect ourself.

I learned this year that honesty--not just telling the truth--is key to everything. I stopped playing games a long time ago in my life and started accepting that people are fallible. And that's OK. I know that when people just simply state what they mean rather than trying to allow a perception to be made life is so much easier.

I was at a very dark point this year. I felt like my whole world had ended and when I didn't think I could handle anymore I received a phone call from a friend very late at night because they were having a bad day. In fact they felt comfortable enough to tell me that they just needed someone to talk to at that moment. Someone not to judge them. They knew what I was going through and still called me during it. That's what a true friend does. That's when I knew that no matter our perceptions we would always be there for the other one.

Which is what Firegirl needed. Someone to look beyond the surface and understand that honesty is key and having someone to look beyond and understand that honesty is the most important element in any relationship albeit friendship or something else.